Can I Breastfeed and Sleep Train?

When I was expecting my first babe I was (like most brand new parents?) pretty clueless about most things baby. Things I remember people asking me:

“are you going to use cloth or disposable diapers?”;

“are you going to co-sleep or put babe in their crib right away?”;

“will you have a bassinet by your bed?”;

“are you going to sleep train?”

“are you going to formula or breastfeed?”.

I’m not joking when I say that I had ZERO opinion on any of these things because that’s how clueless I was. Once people were asking me these questions I figured I better get doing some research because apparently these were all things I needed to know.

Like most things you look up on the internet, there were so many different opinions from so many different experts – once I got past the overwhelm of it all I was able to sift through the information, use my common sense, and figure out what was best for us. Once my babe was born and I realized that yes, I did need to sleep train, something I was still unsure about was sleep training while I was still breastfeeding.

As far as I could tell the basic argument against sleep training and breastfeeding is that breast milk is digested more quickly than formula; therefore, babies who are breastfed will wake more often in the night to feed. I didn’t want to stop nursing, but I sure did want to get more sleep. What was I to do?

We made the decision to give sleep training a try while I was still breastfeeding – if it wasn’t working in a week, we would re-evaluate and make a new plan. It turned out really well for us – by 3 months our babe was sleeping peacefully through the night AND I was able to continue breastfeeding.

Now, like most things in parenting there’s less of a “right and wrong” and more of a “right for your child”. Not all kiddos can be expected to sleep independently through the night at 3 months, but we were lucky enough that with teaching him some sleep skills he was able to. No matter your babe’s age, there are a few facts that you should be aware of if you’re breastfeeding and trying to decide whether or not you want to sleep train. After all, what’s the point of sleep training if your baby’s nutrition needs prevent them from sleeping through the night?

Fact #1: Nobody sleeps through night

I’ve talked lots about this but just to give you a refresher – we all go through sleep cycles which take us from light to deep sleep and back again. Typically, we will go through 4 or 5 of these cycles a night and at the end of each cycle we are in a very light stage where we come to the surface of awake/asleep and often even wake up. Generally we don’t remember these short wakings because we just head back into the next cycle of sleep – this is because we have independent sleep skills.

Baby’s sleep cycles are shorter than adults so they are in those lighter stages of sleep (where they are at the surface of awake/asleep) more often. When parents say their baby “sleeps through the night” they are actually still waking but able to get themselves back to sleep without intervention from mom or dad. So, in terms of babies, when we talk about sleeping through the night, what we are really saying is that they are able to get to sleep on their own (independent sleep skills). SO: it doesn’t matter if a baby is breastfed, formula fed, or eating a steak and lobster dinner, they are going to be waking several times a night for the rest of their lives, no matter what.

Fact #2: Breast milk does digest faster than formula…

But not to the degree that a lot of people describe. Newborns can typically go 2 ½ - 3 hours between feeds if they are breastfed; if they are formula fed, that number is closer to 4 hours. Formula isn’t some kind of magical solution that is going to keep your baby full for 11 hours therefore allowing them and you 11 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Their stomachs are small and they are going to digest liquid relatively quickly, no matter where it comes from. The fact of the matter is that, generally speaking, until your baby is 4-6 months and a healthy weight with no other medical complications, you will be getting up to feed them in the night.

What this doesn’t mean though, is that you put your and your baby’s sleep on the back burner until they hit that 6-month mark. It is NEVER too early to start teaching your baby independent sleep skills – I’m not saying you are going to get a full night’s sleep when your baby is 6 weeks old but what I’m saying is that it isn’t all dependent on whether they are formula or breastfed.

Fact #3: After six months (ish) your babe should be able to start sleeping through the night without a feed…

And yes, this includes breastfed babes.

This can be sometimes where the debate heats up a bit.

Let’s say you breastfeed on demand, which is a popular approach and one that I support if that’s what you’ve chosen for you and your babe. Where some families run into trouble is if their babe is waking 4 times a night for a feed, which would require mom to get up 4 times to feed, right? If baby is 6 months of age, gaining weight at a normal rate, and able to eat the recommended calories in a day, then chances are good that that baby is not waking for food.

The most common reason for night wakings past 6-months is because feeding is a part of their strategy for falling asleep.

We all have strategies for getting to sleep – brushing our teeth, washing our face, putting our pj’s on, having water on our nightstand, get into a specific sleep position etc. Whatever it is, most of us have a ritual that acts as a strategy which signals our brains and body’s that the time for sleep is nearing. Babies’ rituals are generally less sophisticated but still act as a signal to their body that it’s time for sleep.

So what happens when feeding is a part of that ritual? To them it’s not about the food it’s the sucking motion, being close to mom, being rocked – it’s the familiarity of the situation that helps them get back to sleep and oftentimes they become very dependent on it.

Fact #4 Every baby is different…

And some may actually still be hungry enough in the night for a feed. Here are a few indicators that can help you determine if those nighttime wake ups are a result of hunger or a lack of independent sleep skills.

-          Do they only take a small amount when they feed in the night?

-          Do they fall asleep within 5 minutes of starting their feed?

-          Do they eventually fall back asleep if they don’t get fed?

-          Do they only sleep for about 45 minutes to an hour after a night time feed?

If you answered yes to most or all of those questions, then chances are good that your babe is using feeding as a sleep strategy and could benefit from learning some sleep skills. This doesn’t mean that you can’t nurse on demand, you will just have to figure out when exactly they are demanding food and when they are looking for help to get to sleep.

SO the answer to the question: “Can I Breastfeed and Sleep Train?” my answer is, unequivocally, YES. Breastfeeding can be a wonderful experience and has many benefits for both mom and baby – I am telling you that you DO NOT have to choose between breastfeeding and sleeping. You can have both!

As always, if you need some help guiding you through the process of teaching your babe independent sleep skills, I’ve got you covered!